This Week
Us when people call us "TuesNight" (Image via O, the Oprah Magazine)
A thorough explanation for anyone confused by the cat meme. One of the thousands of reasons we love Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. We’re longtime fans of Modern Loss, and loved seeing co-founder Rebecca Soffer in this profile on grief from CBS Sunday Morning. Finding a better way to celebrate Thanksgiving, from a Native American woman. A fascinating look at the history of labor-saving devices for the kitchen, culminating in the Instant Pot, and what it has meant for women. Mackenzie Phillips joins the reboot of “One Day at a Time.” New research shows that Alzeheimer’s may be triggered in women during perimenopause. Rachel Cusk looks at what it takes to thrive in the art world as a woman.
NOVEMBER THEME: AMENDS
Editor's Note: As the year careens toward closure and we start the holiday run, gratitude and thankfulness are on our minds. But what about gratitude's shadow sister, forgiveness? This month we're making AMENDS.
Am I Bullied By the Past? Or Just By My Memories?
By Susan Goldberg
In the very early days of Facebook, back when people “poked” each other, I received two friend requests, both from women I’d originally met in Grade 8. Both sent me chatty messages, congratulating me on the arrival of my new baby, commiserating about the trials of integrating newborns into the emotional lives of their toddler siblings, and updating me on their whereabouts, relationships and careers over the previous 20 years.
The irony of their sweet messages wasn’t lost on me. In the eighth grade, I’d been the new kid, parachuted across the country from my tiny, all-girls, private-school class in Vancouver, British Columbia, to a public junior high in suburban Toronto. I was awkward, friendless, and scared, all of which was likely noted by the group of girls I half-fell in with. I spent that year in a state of watchfulness, arriving at school each morning wary about how my status in the group might have shifted overnight.
Toward the end of the year, an anonymous, handwritten note appeared in my art folder. The letter, written in a half-dozen or so different colors of ink and scripts, served to list my many and varied faults (I was conceited; I wore too much eyeliner), and to let me know that everyone in the class hated me.
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Obsessed: Ditching Paper Towels
My biggest barrier to going paper towel free had always been, “sure, that would be great, I'd like to, but how?” Here's how. Buy 3 of these 12-packs of bar mops, and then this wire basket, which fits them perfectly, and put it where you normally keep your paper towels. We've been paper towel free for a month now, and I keep wondering why we didn't do this years ago or at least one year ago, when we moved into a place with a washer/dryer. More tips: we have a dedicated trash can in the kitchen for the dirty towels and a metal stick-on hook on the backsplash for that towel you use once, just to wipe your wet hands, so it can be reused by the next person who washes their hands. These hooks work fine. You’re welcome! And yeah, this is all much easier if you have a washer/dryer in your home. Let’s save the planet!
Sponsors We Dig: Loop & Tie Gives TueNighters $10 Off
In my "other" day job I run a content strategy agency and each year I like to send a little holiday gift to my clients to say thank you. I used to send a tin of cookies or try to hunt down something Brooklyn-y, but then I found Loop & Tie and my client gifting changed for the - way - better. Instead of me wracking my brain for the perfect gift, my recipient chooses exactly what THEY want. Loop & Tie allows gifters to send a list of chic, curated gifts that a recipient can choose from, based on a selected budget. Unlike a giftcard, they never know how much you spent AND if they don't want anything, they have the option of donating the gift to charity. It's also fun to see what they choose and so far 100% of the time they write a note back saying thank you so much. Just a fantastic experience all around.
***DEAL***
Loop & Tie is offering a gift code for $10 off any gift sent through Dec 3. Use the code 10TUENIGHT. One gift code use per member.
They will also provide a 10% discount for any TueNighter that wants to send corporate holiday gifts through Loop & Tie (minimum corporate spend of $5000). Offer Expires December 10. Email benish@loopandtie.com and mention TueNight!
—Margit Detweiler
(this has been a message paid for by one of our sponsors, but we choose only sponsors we dig. so there.)
TueNight 10: Evelyn Taylor Bonner
Evelyn with some her designs at West Elm in Red Bank, NJ
Age: 53
Quick bio: Evelyn is a full-time ceramic artist living in the super-hip Philly suburb of Collingswood, NJ. Her work is featured at the five West Elm stores in NJ, and she's currently busy filling wholesale orders and prepping for her 7th annual Open Studio event happening December 7-8.
Beyond the bio: “I've worked my ass off to get here, and now, at 53, I'm kinda living the dream. So much therapy, so much hard work, and so many supportive friends helped me get here. I married an amazing man that I had known for 30 years prior (friendship turned to romance), left behind a 20 year arts marketing career to become a full-time artist, and reluctantly adopted my MIL's cat who's now a miracle of love in our home. It's not always easy around here, but I'm incredibly grateful.”
1. On the nightstand: Weekly NY Times mag. Now if I could only manage to read it.
2. Can’t stop/won’t stop: Survivor… I refuse to defend myself, your honor.
3. Jam of the minute: The morning show on Seattle's KEXP (on TuneInRadio app)
4. Thing I miss: My mom's flower garden. And my dad’s sense of humor.
5. 80s crush: Erik Estrada who I recently met on my plane out of LAX. His smile has actual wattage.
6. Current crush: Monty Don. Look him up, for reals.
7. Will whine about: Forgetting to make coffee at night because I like it cold from the fridge in the morning.
8. Will wine about: Gave up the sauce a year ago and don’t miss it at all.
9. Best thing that happened recently: I hired part-time help in my studio. A college sophomore who is eager to learn and really lovely to converse with. Plus, I’m learning to delegate tasks and let her do the grunt work so I can enjoy my studio again.
10. Looking forward to: Our next trip out west. Whenever it might happen. I fell in love with Arizona (both northern and southern) last year, and can't wait to visit New Mexico!
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