THIS WEEK
Are you watching tonight’s debate? This BINGO card may help. Follow that up with All In: The Fight for Democracy and The Glorias, which starts streaming tomorrow (Gloria Steinem is nowhere near done with being an activist). How to tell the difference between stress and burnout. Department of Perfect Timing: A World of Calm, which features some of the most attractive people in Hollywood, comes out this week. Artist Ming Smith on authenticity and age. Dolly and Patti making music with their acrylic nails. A new wave of writers on midlife and menopause and a rejection of “aging gracefully.” Every type of Zoom call participant, illustrated by cats. Roxane Gay profiles Sarah Paulson. Ann Patchett on her three fathers. I stopped using screens on Sundays and it changed my life. We are so ready for Michelle Buteau’s Netflix special. Ramona Quimby forever. Peak fall foliage, mapped.
(Photo: LD Entertainment and Roadside Attractions)
STORY: Siblings at Odds: He’s an Evangelical Preacher, I’m an Atheist
By Sarah Gilliam
“I wrote this essay several years ago, but I’m struck by how much it still resonates. In fact, I believe our divides—even within families—are deeper and more painful now than ever. More than a handful of people I know have severed communication with their parents or siblings over political beliefs.”
(Psst: Want to write for us? Pitch us here!)
OBSESSED: Writing Letters to Voters
A few weeks ago, I was doomscrolling as usual, worried about the election. I wanted to do more than just donate to good candidates, but as a high-anxiety introvert, the idea of going door-to-door or even phone-to-phone sounded scary and exhausting.
Then a friend invited me to a Facebook group where she and a bunch of her friends from the swing dancing scene in New York and San Francisco get together via Zoom twice a week to write get-out-the-vote letters. There’s a different DJ each time, an organizer who tracks all our progress and cheers us on, and an active group chat where we share pen recommendations, talk about the music, and crack jokes.
When I agreed to the first Zoom session, I wasn’t sure if I would like it, but here I am, three weeks and 180 letters later, looking forward to our next meeting – not to mention TueNight’s Get Out the Motherf@#&ing Vote event (see below). My hand is a bit cramped from writing, but it feels good to actually be doing something – and putting all my envelope-stuffing skills (I was an admin for years) to work. I’m still worried about the election, but now, instead of doomscrolling, I take little breaks to address 5 or 10 envelopes.
–– Margaret Crandall
TICKETS: Get Out the MotherF&#@ing Vote!
One week away! Join us October 6 for Get Out the Motherf@#&ing Vote for an evening of fun, solidarity, and postcard writing.
We have a killer lineup of comedians (and DJ LaFrae Sci!) to entertain us as we all help get out the vote. Plus a portion of the proceeds will go to Stacy Abrams’ Fair Fight!
Experts have determined that personal notes from real people at key moments really do make a huge difference, so LET’S DO THIS!
TueNight 10: Laurie White
(Laurie in front of and behind the camera)
Age: 49
Basic bio: Laurie White is a writer and editor with a long history on the internet (most recently at mom2.com) where she likes to build community and tells people to mute themselves as nicely as she can.
Beyond the bio: I got sober seven years ago, and while it's not my whole story, it informs pretty much everything I am and do. I’ll be 50 this year and I'm concerned mostly with using my voice for good. COVID (I had a mild case in June/July that was still pretty rough), the terrifying political situation, and a desperate need for white people to act for racial justice requires me to think about how I can be useful. I start a new role soon running social for the libraries in my county, and I am more excited about this than I've been about anything in a long time. I was a college counselor and professor before I went into digital full-time, and it feels like perfect timing to get to support public service, education, and literacy again. My mantra is "keep walking," and that's what I've done so far.
What makes you a grown-ass lady? I do my best not to stay in the wrong place or situation for very long, to own my choices, trust my intuition, tell the truth, do what I say I’m going to do, pause before I react, and tip like a person who’s worked a lot of retail and food service. I keep people around me who keep me honest, make me think, and make me laugh. This is probably my number one survival skill.
1. On the nightstand: So many flair pens and a blank book or two. The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett; Real Life by Brandon Taylor; Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino.
2. Can't stop/won't stop: A paint by numbers app that I should delete from my phone, but I won’t. Drinking Topo Chico. Updating @hooverthepuggle’s Instagram. Texting.
3. Jam of the minute: Gaslighter by The Chicks. The Highwomen record. Unabashedly 80s Spotify playlist.
4. Thing I miss: My friends. Sitting in the comforting noise of a coffee shop for two hours, working on whatever. (I actually have the Coffitivity app that mimics the ambient noise. It's that serious.)
5. ’80s crush: John Taylor, then and forever.
6. Current crush: Dan Levy. Hannah Gadsby. My ebook app. Always my dog.
7. Latest fave find: I discovered Schitt’s Creek this summer years after the rest of the world, and at the best possible time in my pandemic life. CBT. Thayer’s Witch Hazel (my grandma was right—mosquito bites, skin toner, it fixes everything.)
8. Last thing I lost: My favorite mask, which is a thing I have now.
9. Best thing that happened recently: I spent two weeks isolating at my favorite beach. Zoom meetings are a lot better with an ocean view. A new work opportunity. A socially distanced evening with an entirely COVID-negative family. Biggest gift of all.
10. Looking forward to: A vaccine. Moving freely about the planet. Concerts. Sanity returning on November 3. (I hope I hope. Please vote.)
PARTNER: Highlights From The Woolfer
Keep swiping, TueNighters!