The TueDo List: Wig in a Box + The P-Word + Aliya King
THIS WEEK
We’re singing along with the latest Randy Rainbow show tune cover and the “Wig in a Box” Hedwig reunion while looking forward to all the hugs when this pandemic ends. Why Gen-X women are losing the most sleep. Doomscrolling probably doesn’t help, but an appointment with LA’s “orgasm doctor” might? “Fight the Power” updated for 2020, and all the videos from the 2020 BET Awards. The colorful history of the rainbow flag. The radical quilting of Rosie Lee Tompkins. A literary quilt for George Floyd. Guernica has a fantastic series of essays on fashion in isolation. A funny theory about the Golden Girls. The history of the “Oh Yeah” song from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (chick-a-chick-AH). Three cheers for the Lasagna Lady! Dog + dentures = hilarity.
(Photo: YouTube)
Obsessed: The P-Word
Underpants — when to wear them, when to not wear them, when to ever wear them. Has COVID changed your undergarment wearing schedule? It’s the subject of much debate for TueNighters. The latest Margit Facebook Poll™ reveals that, of the 324 women who responded, 45% of us are fully panted at all times, 37% sleep at least half naked, 16% are commando-curious because of the pandemic, and apparently 2% believe in letting it all hang out, all the time.
Margaret and Deesha from the TueNight Crew, our newsletter editor and website editor respectively, react below, in what we’re calling “Pant/Counterpant.”
Margaret: Comments on the poll indicate that some TueNighters believe their junk needs to “breathe,” as if their vaginas are open wounds that need sunlight to heal. As an uptight prude on Team Underpants, I appreciate BOUNDARIES – between work and life, between me and my family, and most of all between cooch and pants crotch. Things occasionally (oh god I’m so sorry) seep, ooze, or drip – and it’s way more environmentally friendly to wash 10 pairs of underpants than 10 pairs of jeans. As for not wearing underpants – or any clothes at all – at night? What if there is an earthquake or fire? I sleep PREPARED TO FLEE. I would even argue that like masks, underpants are critical for public health. Otherwise you risk stray pubes in your takeout order. <<snaps elastic band of underpants, curtsies, and shows herself out.>>
Deesha: True, washing panties (THERE! I SAID IT!) is more enviro-friendly than washing jeans. And no, the vagina is not an open wound. But just like every other part of our body, it does need air. And giving your hoohaa a break from fabric at night keeps moisture from building up and creating a summer vacation home for bacteria, which leads to infections. A one-way ticket to Yeast Infectionville. Or, I hear Bacteria Vaginosis City is nice this time of year. Choose your adventure! And I will venture a guess that in the case of a fire or natural disaster, you’ll SAVE MORE LIVES if you flee to safety bottomless, because more people will be inclined to follow you. Don’t be like the maskless among us, Margaret, thinking only of yourself! Finally, where the hell are you ordering takeout from these days that a rogue pube can escape from beneath a skirt and land in the food???
Take the poll (or just read more comments) in the TueNighters Facebook group.
TUENIGHT 10: Aliya King
(“I was told, growing up, that Black girls could not wear red lipstick, ever. Today, I have at least 20 shades of red. And am always looking for a new one.”)
Age: 46
Bio: Aliya S. King is a writer and podcast producer (Good Talk, Writing Practice). Her podcast network, Good Talk Productions, launches this summer. Her latest book, Keep Your Head Up, will be out from Denene Millner Books | Simon and Schuster in 2021.
Beyond the Bio: I've been sober for nine years. And in 2016, I worked with a team of folks to get my mental health in check. Now in full remission from Bipolar 2 for four years. Thanks to both of those things, I'm on my seventh book and doing all the fun professional things. I have two babies who are not babies but are still amazing. And I have a partner who completes me in the corniest of ways.
What makes you a grown-ass lady? I wear caftans, un-ironically. Like, full-on Mrs. Roper-steeze. I wear long-ass stiletto nails with matte polish. In general, I do things because I want to and because I can. Last year, I joined a dating site, created a too-long list of what I wanted. The person who appeared? We've been joined at the hip for a year. He asked me to marry him last month. Grown-grown.
Here’s her TueNight 10:
1. On the nightstand: Too many chargers, (watch, phone, headphones), notebook for daily morning musings, Uniball pens, (and ONLY Uniballs). I have a tiny brass sparrow, to remind me of the song His Eye Is On The Sparrow, a tiny jar of mustard seeds, to remind me to have the faith of just a single mustard seed, makeup remover wipes, a photo of me and my youngest daughter—and four coffee cups with a tiny bit of coffee left in each. To drive my partner crazy.
2. Can't stop/won't stop: I just bought a bike. Haven't been on one in decades. It's exhilarating. Also hurts like hell. I just learned I have to go at least 50 miles before it stops hurting. I'm on mile 5.
3. Jam of the minute: Issues/Hold On by Teyana Taylor. I love her raspy voice and the lyrics are a perfect fit when I'm feeling guilty about fussing with my partner.
4. Thing I miss: My daughter. She's 23 years old and moved to Los Angeles right before the pandemic. I haven't gone this long without seeing her since, ever.
5. ’80s crush: Ralph Tresvant and Raphael Saddiq.
6. Current crush: Young M.A. I'm straight. But if she gives me a call, I'm just saying.
7. Latest fave find: It's not latest. I've loved this line for ages. A new outfit from Onion by Whitney Mero can bring me to actual tears. I have three on the way.
8. Last thing you lost: MY PLANNER. I am serious about my planners. During the pandemic, I didn't need one so I stored it somewhere. And now I can't find it. It pains me to no end. I finally broke down yesterday and designed another. I know the lost planner will now resurface and I will want to throw things.
9. Best thing that happened recently: I guess the easy answer is that I got engaged. I feel weird about saying that because it's like, eye roll. But this man is the best. I'm so proud of our growth in the past year.
10. Looking forward to: I'm restarting with my personal trainer this weekend. I'm petrified.
FOLLOW: Imani Perry
STORY: Lift Every Voice And Sing — a Q&A with Activist and Singer Abby Dobson
In this January 31, 2017 interview, shortly after the Women’s March, journalist Angela Bronner Helm spoke with activist and singer Abby Dobson about protest, the persistent disconnect between women of different races and backgrounds, and the importance of amplifying Black women’s voices. In Abby’s words, we find powerful insights and calls to action that are relevant and necessary right now.
(Psst: Want to write for us? Pitch us here!)
Have a safe and happy 4th, Tuenighters!
