TN10: Tressie McMillan Cottom, Professor and Culture Critic

Age: Grown.

Basic bio: Tressie is a professor, New York Times columnist & cultural critic. She does serious work without taking life too seriously. She’s writing a book on Gen-X motherhood and another on race and “mama bears.” She promises those are very different books!

Beyond the bio: A friend once told me that when she was young she could not wait to be 40 years old. It shifted my perspective. Instead of pining for youth, here was a young person pining for age. I realized that narrative fit me better than society’s ever did. I love paying my own bills, choosing the palette of my life and not wearing shapewear anymore. I love it all. The only thing I want from my youth are my abs.

What makes you a grown-ass lady? Being grown is learning how to care about people and the world without letting it consume your core identity. Separating empathy from sympathy and both of those from struggle — that’s a grown woman game-changer.

Here’s her TueNight 10:

1. On the nightstand: A jewelry box, fancy Kleenex, a Fitbit, several books and a journal.

2. Can't stop/won't stop: Singing the latest TikTok earworm.

3. Jam of the minute: The King’s Affirmation by indie artist Iniko.

4. Thing I miss: I miss feeling hopeful. Hope had to go to make room for radical empathy. But hope was nice.

5. '80s crush: New Edition. Ricky.

6. Current crush: Christa Janine.

7. Latest fav find: ADAY’s Something Borrowed dress is the easiest dress in the world to wear.

8. Last thing you lost: My spare car key! Those things are now a thousand dollars to replace.

9. Best thing that happened recently: I won a lovely career award from Brandeis University.

10. Looking forward to: My birthday season. I love autumn and I treat it like my new year event.