Age: 65.
Basic bio: Vicki is a Bay Area journalist and author whose books include Not Too Old For That: How Women Are Changing the Story of Aging and The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels. She's working on a new book on “live-apart-together” relationships (her personal preference). She is the mom of two young men who are taller than she is so she's a lot nicer to them, and dog mom to a somewhat neurotic rescue.
Beyond the bio: Like many women, I lived in fear of hitting midlife. Silly me. I have never felt more confident, interested and interesting, vibrant, comfortable in my skin and juicy, just at the time when society says I am irrelevant, invisible and asexual. Clearly, I am experiencing what anthropologist Margaret Mead called “postmenopausal zest.”
What makes you a grown-ass lady?
One of the great joys I’ve discovered about growing older is seeing each day as a gift; it sounds so cliché, but it isn’t, as we’ve learned during the pandemic. I nurture my friendships and — for the first time in decades — myself, and let my friends and children know how much I love and appreciate them.
Here’s her TueNight 10:
On the nightstand: Way too many books, a glass of water, a vibrator and a candle.
Can’t stop/won’t stop: Laughing, dancing, hiking, talking to random people, singing along to my playlists, daydreaming, speaking truth to power, busting harmful ageist/sexist narratives.
Jam of the minute: Because I’m angry about the assault on reproductive rights and our democracy, and am worried about climate change, I crank up “Beds Are Burning” by Midnight Oil.
Thing I miss: My parents. Just wish I could hang with them again.
‘80s crush: After my obsession with James Taylor and Jackson Browne, I went straight to bad boy Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin.
Current crush: I’m late to watching The Sopranos and he’s not my type at all, but the late James Gandolfini is sexy AF.
Latest fav find: My electric bike.
Last thing you lost: My cute go-to black miniskirt; I have torn my closets and drawers apart and... zilch.
Best thing that happened recently: I got cataract surgery on both eyes and I can finally see (and realized I’m a lot grayer than I thought I was!)
Looking forward to: For 10 years when my boys were little, we spent our summers on Oahu because their dad taught at the university. It’s a special place for us, filled with wonderful memories and aloha. I’m taking my now-adult sons and their partners there in November for a mini-family reunion. I can’t wait.