I wouldn't say I've lost any friends, per se, since the pandemic. I have, however, experienced a profound shift in one friendship that will likely never rebound and feel myself drifting apart from another. Almost all my friendships have changed in some way due to our pandemic-induced separation, and mostly not for the better/closer.
I love the point about 'not honoring the reality of how you’re being treated by her'. I've definitely been guilty of this - believing that *my* actions are the only ones that can be decisive, rather than accepting that the other person acts just as powerfully. It's such a complicated dance of ego and agency. I try to be more aware of that now; if someone's had a gut-full of me, fair enough. I'm 50, I'm not going to undergo a radical personality change, and none of us have got time to put energy and effort into a relationship that makes us feel bad. Being dumped by a friend doesn't have to me some huge all-encompassing judgement on you - and to the extent that it does say something about you, it equally says something about them, none of which is necessarily terrible.
Just like losing a loved one, losing a long-time dear friend is heartbreaking.
I wouldn't say I've lost any friends, per se, since the pandemic. I have, however, experienced a profound shift in one friendship that will likely never rebound and feel myself drifting apart from another. Almost all my friendships have changed in some way due to our pandemic-induced separation, and mostly not for the better/closer.
I love the point about 'not honoring the reality of how you’re being treated by her'. I've definitely been guilty of this - believing that *my* actions are the only ones that can be decisive, rather than accepting that the other person acts just as powerfully. It's such a complicated dance of ego and agency. I try to be more aware of that now; if someone's had a gut-full of me, fair enough. I'm 50, I'm not going to undergo a radical personality change, and none of us have got time to put energy and effort into a relationship that makes us feel bad. Being dumped by a friend doesn't have to me some huge all-encompassing judgement on you - and to the extent that it does say something about you, it equally says something about them, none of which is necessarily terrible.
This one cut too close to the bone for me and couldn’t participate in the live event. But I’m looking forward to watching this.
I haven’t heard enough people talk about this. Thank you for sharing and for modeling a way of mourning and moving forward ❤️