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Margit Detweiler's avatar

Have been dealing with this with my parents — mom has Parkinsons and Dad is, well, 90 and with that comes all the tough - heart failure and such. They're mentally going strong but the aging body is a cruel thing. A few things my siblings and I have learned so far.

- IMHO A lot of these caregiver services are questionable (expensive, or don't show up, or you need a caregiver to monitor the caregiver). My parents ended up finding someone on their own through friends of a friend of a friend. Which was kind of hilarious after we had spreadsheets and hours of data on the best services, and did interviews etc etc. At the end of the day, they had a better insight than any of us. Grateful for that.

- I'm just at the beginning of this caregiving road and have so many friends dealing with the latter part and it's traumatizing and impossible. So yeah, we're asking for tips knowing every situation is unique and there are probably no answers.

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Garance Franke-Ruta's avatar

I found gardening and particularly weeding therapeutic. Both for the time in nature/calming effect of greenery and for the gift of the necessary and violent labor of weeding, which is a good way of expressing aggressive feelings productively. When you can't fix what can't be fixed you can at least join a community garden and hack a paper mulberry sapling out of a spot by the fence line.

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