It's really been helping me when I wake up to just stop and think: I can't solve anything while I'm lying here in bed, and I did the best I could back then. So let me make a choice right now that I'll be proud of -- let me take a deep breath and trust that whatever needs fixing can wait 'til morning. I still lie awake sometimes, but it's been helping. Thanks so much for reading this story. I wish you good sleep tonight!
Jul 24, 2023Liked by Melissa Rayworth, Margit Detweiler
I need to incorporate a daily pomelo ceremony. The 50s are supposed to be magical and I’ve found that to be less than true. Regret is a tough place to live.
It really is a tough place -- I wish you weren't wrestling with it too, even as I'm kind of glad I'm not alone. This whole 50s thing is definitely weird -- but maybe good, if we can use our hindsight to take better care of ourselves in the future.
Jul 24, 2023Liked by Melissa Rayworth, Margit Detweiler
Gorgeous Melissa. I too make offerings, in the manner of canang suri, often. Mostly placed in out of the way spots in nature. Also, at the various altars in my garden. I have floated things on the river, but never realized that act of release had a name and a corresponding day. From now on, I will think of you when I do this, magnifying your release because of the gift you give in writing about it, about being public with your forgiveness of your many selves. All those women, I will honor, as I will honor all of the women I have been, in all those compromising places. And for the ways that I require forgiveness today. Thank you dear one. Many blessings on the boat that is your life. xoS
Here is a very clear description. I have a close friend who lived in Bali and named what I do as that. I honor the tradition though I am neither Balinese or Buddhist. This way of reverence, of time and blessing, the physical and holy meeting in these small offerings is very special. I aim to honor and not dilute the tradition. xo sbb https://www.thebalibible.com/articles/canang-sari-charming-tradition
Jul 24, 2023Liked by Melissa Rayworth, Margit Detweiler
A beautiful essay, Melissa, and a great reminder to let go of the heavy. One of my favorite Buddhist adages is, "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." And when we resent ourselves or our choices, what are we looking to achieve? Remembering we are human and meant for mistake-making is important. As long as we are learning and growing from the things we've done ("good" or "bad"), we are doing our jobs as people. And, when life (or your offspring) gives you grapefruit, set half of it on fire, and use the rest to make a Paloma. 😉 Let go and celebrate. Thank you for this. xo
When I come across a piece of wisdom that can help me move forward, I often print it out on paper (very analog Gen X of me, I suppose) and tape them up on the closet door in my home office. I'm adding "As long as we are learning and growing from the things we've done ("good" or "bad"), we are doing our jobs as people" to my wall of inspiring phrases!
You just made my day, Melissa. Thank you! And, GenX here, too. I have a smattering of Post-Its with sage advice, as well as Stickies in my laptop. Can't beat analog (even when it's digitized)! xo
This was a great read. I need to be kinder to myself too, when I awaken with worry in the middle of the night
It's really been helping me when I wake up to just stop and think: I can't solve anything while I'm lying here in bed, and I did the best I could back then. So let me make a choice right now that I'll be proud of -- let me take a deep breath and trust that whatever needs fixing can wait 'til morning. I still lie awake sometimes, but it's been helping. Thanks so much for reading this story. I wish you good sleep tonight!
I need to incorporate a daily pomelo ceremony. The 50s are supposed to be magical and I’ve found that to be less than true. Regret is a tough place to live.
It really is a tough place -- I wish you weren't wrestling with it too, even as I'm kind of glad I'm not alone. This whole 50s thing is definitely weird -- but maybe good, if we can use our hindsight to take better care of ourselves in the future.
Gorgeous Melissa. I too make offerings, in the manner of canang suri, often. Mostly placed in out of the way spots in nature. Also, at the various altars in my garden. I have floated things on the river, but never realized that act of release had a name and a corresponding day. From now on, I will think of you when I do this, magnifying your release because of the gift you give in writing about it, about being public with your forgiveness of your many selves. All those women, I will honor, as I will honor all of the women I have been, in all those compromising places. And for the ways that I require forgiveness today. Thank you dear one. Many blessings on the boat that is your life. xoS
I want to learn about canang suri! I really appreciate your kind words.
Here is a very clear description. I have a close friend who lived in Bali and named what I do as that. I honor the tradition though I am neither Balinese or Buddhist. This way of reverence, of time and blessing, the physical and holy meeting in these small offerings is very special. I aim to honor and not dilute the tradition. xo sbb https://www.thebalibible.com/articles/canang-sari-charming-tradition
Thanks so much for this info. I love the idea of a daily gratitude ritual.
A beautiful essay, Melissa, and a great reminder to let go of the heavy. One of my favorite Buddhist adages is, "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." And when we resent ourselves or our choices, what are we looking to achieve? Remembering we are human and meant for mistake-making is important. As long as we are learning and growing from the things we've done ("good" or "bad"), we are doing our jobs as people. And, when life (or your offspring) gives you grapefruit, set half of it on fire, and use the rest to make a Paloma. 😉 Let go and celebrate. Thank you for this. xo
When I come across a piece of wisdom that can help me move forward, I often print it out on paper (very analog Gen X of me, I suppose) and tape them up on the closet door in my home office. I'm adding "As long as we are learning and growing from the things we've done ("good" or "bad"), we are doing our jobs as people" to my wall of inspiring phrases!
You just made my day, Melissa. Thank you! And, GenX here, too. I have a smattering of Post-Its with sage advice, as well as Stickies in my laptop. Can't beat analog (even when it's digitized)! xo