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As a #1 daughter, and sole caregiver of two disabled parents, I felt every one of your words... right through the bone and into my soul. Having a twin brother, who was present only when asked, taking care of my parents became much more of a burden (mentally and emotionally) than it really should have — my Dad passed (in my arms) in 2018 and Mom passed suddenly (in her sleep and alone) in 2020.

I was named Executrix in her will (which the rest of my family expected, because of course) and... since settling her estate, this year... I've lost contact with my brother, at his request. BUT, after much reflection and many therapy sessions later, he also effectively helped me lift the burden of being the #1 daughter (who's still learning to hold space for myself) and I'm okay with it.

Much love and respect to you, Mimi.

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" I’ve learned that being the responsible one and having responsibilities are clearly different." - couldn't be more true Mimi — just love this piece, we're so honored to publish it and I SO can't wait to hear you tell it live at our event! Thank you for sharing

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Nov 24, 2022Liked by Mimi Ison

Your work inspires me! thank you for sharing your story - we can all relate to it (even if we aren’t the oldest daughters). I am a middle child and grew up with an extreme sense of responsibility and self-sacrifice-I only wish I had realized earlier in life to chug and guzzle! cheers to getting older, wiser and richer in life💕

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Nov 24, 2022Liked by Margit Detweiler, Mimi Ison

"She dropped that bomb, and then said, “don’t tell anyone,” including my siblings. She didn’t want them to worry, but I guess that meant it was okay for me, the #1 child to solely carry that burden. "

Oooo. That one found me. Beautiful piece - thank you for sharing it.

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