TueDo List: Thank You Notes + IVA + Menopause Tips
Plus, a new Julia Louis-Dreyfus flick, the history of the Moog and Succession ends.
THIS WEEK
📖 READ: “Serving cunt,” explained. The entirety of “The Therapy Issue” of The New York Times Magazine. What does it mean to make a workplace menopause friendly? The movement to de-gender award shows. Sarah Wildman will break your heart.
👀 LOOK: Michelle Yeoh dancing in Cannes. Sunday at the drag strip (the other drag). “Usually I’m motivated by pay.” History of the Moog in a seriously trippy website. Kurt Cobain’s broken guitar.
🎧 LISTEN: Juliana Hatfield has a new covers album coming. Via Talia Levin, Orthodox Jewish rock that goes hard (plus a full playlist). Kesha is back, with and without her Gag Order.
🛒 ADD TO CART: Blackpink Oreos. Fisherman sandals from Crocs. Aesthetic catch-alls.
🌳 DO GOOD: Stop “wish-cycling.” Helping seniors move.
📺 WATCH:
Tonight: Bama Rush: Possible the whitest thing you’ll ever watch, as four women seek to join top-tier sororities at the University of Alabama (Max). “What Am I Eating?” with Zooey Deschanel: Food myths debunked by everyone’s favorite former manic pixie dream girl (Max).
Friday. You Hurt My Feelings: Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays a novelist whose marriage is tested after she overhears her husband say he does not like her new book (Theaters).
Sunday. Succession: The series finale on Max. Get ready!
Monday. Reality: Sydney Sweeney stars as former NSA translator Reality Winner in this adaptation of a play about her arrest for leaking government secrets (Max).
STORY: I Wanted to Say Thanks; I Ended Up Saying Sorry
By Nancy Davis Kho
This post is one of our favorites from the archives (November 2019).
When I decided to mark my 50th birthday year by writing thank-you letters to people who had helped, inspired, and shaped me in my life, the last thing on my mind was forgiveness. But writing those thank-you letters turned out to be harder, deeper, and more meaningful than I’d ever hoped, in large part because it drove home the ways in which gratitude and forgiveness are twinned in human nature. By challenging myself to acknowledge all the ways in which I had been helped over the years, I necessarily faced facts: there were situations in which I hadn’t always conducted myself in a way that made me deserving of the help. And in situations where I’d clung to historical slights by a family member or close friend, writing a letter documenting all the ways those people had supported me over the years made me blush with embarrassment over my hard work and determination to maintain ancient disappointments. Making amends as I went, whether in the text of the letters I wrote or simply by promising myself to do better going forward, became a means of clearing a flight path for gratitude’s smooth landing…
TUENIGHT 10: IVA, Vocalist + Songwriter + Band Leader
Your Age: 45
Basic bio: IVA is a vocalist and songwriter with a powerful, ethereal voice and a cinematic feel to her music. Her latest album, “Nobody’s Woman,” has garnered rave reviews since its March release and her live shows are not-to-be-missed experiences.
Beyond the bio: Since making the decision to devote my life to my music, I have been through many difficult transition periods, especially when losing people who were not comfortable with my focus and lifestyle. It was worth the mess of moving on, even though it caused suffering for both me and the other person. There is an art to living as an artist, and it takes a great deal of work both internally and externally. That’s where my devotion lies, and when I follow that rigorous path, I am fully at peace.
What makes you a grown-ass lady?
I know how to handle my feelings and let them tell me what’s the next right move. I stopped drinking, as it wasn’t making me feel good about myself, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.
#GENXAPPROVED: Question of the Week
This week, TueNighter Mari needs our help. She’s looking for our tried and true menopause tips, on everything from brain fog to hot flashes. Let’s share our best solutions!
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That drag race (the car kind) story! I ... wrote it in ... 2002! 👵 https://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/31/travel/driving-ladies-and-gentlemen-ignite-your-engines.html
Re: the NYT article on menopause - the fact that the West Ham soccer club is certified menopause-friendly made me giggle. This should be a Ted Lasso plot line !