30 Comments

I love to travel by myself. While it's nice to have company sometimes, traveling by myself allows me to do exactly "what" I want, "when" I want and "if" I want.

I'm retiring in the next few months and after I move and get settled, I'm looking forward to seeing what retirement has to offer.

Expand full comment
author

I’m curious, too, if people feel like traveling solo in midlife has become easier or harder - and why?

It’s probably the effects of the pandemic, but I took a solo trip to do some writing recently to a small place in upstate NY and I had both a wonderful time and slightly uneasy time. I typically love solo trips, for all the reasons Gayla mentioned, and was taken aback by how timid I felt. It’s not even like I was in another country (or another state!) but I just felt like it was harder to walk out the door to explore. Of course I did, eventually, (in the rain!),and found a cute coffee shop to sit with my thoughts for a bit. I’m still trying to figure out why I felt this way!

Expand full comment
May 18, 2023Liked by Margit Detweiler, Liz Thompson

ERICA WIDES

5 min ago

I've done a lot of solo traveling, mostly back in my 20's-early 30's. It's exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. I found that what worked best was to stay in youth hostels so that it was very easy to meet people, informal groups would naturally form, we'd travel together for a few days, then go our own ways. I'm not sure as an adult how that would work for me now? I've never been a fan of group travel, but I'm actually leading a group Food, Wine and Adventure trip to Portugal in October. Almost everyone who's joined so far is over 40, some almost 80! If you're interested you can read my Substack The Chefsmartypants Academy and message me there!

Expand full comment
May 18, 2023Liked by Margit Detweiler, Liz Thompson

I love getting away by myself. I get the big hotel bed to myself, can see what I want to see, and have the quiet to think and write about it.

Expand full comment
May 18, 2023Liked by Margit Detweiler, Liz Thompson

I have travelled solo for work quite a bit but in December 2019, I travelled to the Christmas markets of Prague, Vienna and Saltzburg solo and had the best time. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted... I ate chocolate cake for dinner, spent 3 hours in one museum, walked everywhere etc. It was so liberating to not have to take anyone else into consideration for anything, not have to play mediator, not have to compromise etc. I realized how exhausted I was after putting so many people's needs and wants ahead of mine . I am way overdue and cannot wait to do it again!

Expand full comment
May 18, 2023Liked by Margit Detweiler

Didn't embrace solo travel until I hit my 50s, but so far have gone on adventures including Bali, French Polynesia, South Africa and Antarctica!

Expand full comment
May 18, 2023Liked by Liz Thompson

No particular recommendations but I am totally here for this! I LOVE solo travel 🧳

Expand full comment
May 18, 2023Liked by Margit Detweiler

I really love solo travel, and I've found that the things I love about it have gotten even more important to me the older I get. Having my own space in a hotel, eating what I want when I want it, following my own whims and my own schedule... I want it all, and I value it all, more and more.

Weirdly, at the same time, as I move into middle age and having lived through early pandemic lockdowns, I am also somehow even more of a homebody...? I miss my partner when I travel a lot more than I used to. And I also miss my home routine more these days (e.g. I love to eat, and when I travel, exploring new food and lots of it is a big part of my plans. But then I really look forward to getting back to my usual food routine, especially since my digestion isn't running quite as flawlessly as it used to.).

I chalk both these things up to becoming more and more attuned to what I love, and better at arranging my life so that I get more of what I love. I love home and routine, and I love travel and adventure, and I am so happy that I can have both in my life.

Expand full comment
May 18, 2023Liked by Liz Thompson

Absolute solo travel here. Most of the trips I’ve taken have been solo. I’m going to New Zealand and Australia for 3 weeks for the Women’s World Cup in August.

Expand full comment
May 19, 2023Liked by Liz Thompson

I love solo travel and have actually been a traveling seasonal server for the past eight years, so I also move to a new state every few months, sometimes longer, (outside of O'ahu where I resided for a couple of years.) Then, I travel in between seasons. I guess you could say that I am a slomad. I prefer this, especially at this time in my life. My first trip abroad solo was Thailand. I love wandering and following my own intuition and finding that travel magic, meeting new souls, eating what I want, or even staying in when I want. HOWEVER, currently in perimenopause, and prior to hrt, I lost all interest and even cancelled a long-awaited trip to Tenerife because it just felt so very overwhelming and crushing and I could not summon the joy. I tried taking a short flight within Mass last year and experienced a full blown panic attack before the flight that I had never experienced prior. It was the first time in my life that I wanted to travel, just so I could stay in a resort in an inexpensive country or on an island somewhere and not have to speak to anyone.

Started hrt and felt somewhat like myself again, I was able to work a season on Martha's Vineyard and schedule and complete a trip to South Africa (albeit with a relative), then move to CA to find work. I am able to see the light of travel again and I am excited about that. There is an actual fear, as well as insecurity, and trepidation at times that I had not felt so acutely before. Before it was scary and exciting and exhilarating, now it just seemed terrifying! Before hrt, I could scarcely remember the feeling of traveling so freely, or the person I was in order to actually accomplish all that travel. I am hoping once I have made the transition into menopause, the hormones (or lack thereof) will be stable and I will find my joy and curiosity again, there are still so many places I want to see! So many places to go!

Also, did not find work in California, so I am looking for my next seasonal place. Although I actually found several people suggesting I should settle down for a second, create some roots, and then travel from there. This is intriguing to me, as I know there are other ways to travel. I might like the idea of having a home base and then finding new ways to travel (tour guide, anyone?,) but where to settle??? How to shift or transition?

Thank you for this conversation, I love talking about travel and hearing others' experiences, especially those in a similar boat! :)

Expand full comment
May 20, 2023Liked by Liz Thompson