You know what really fires me up sometimes? Those TikTok youngsters and their dramatic "Noooo!" reactions to aging filters. It may be all in good fun, but it's also a glaring reminder of our society's obsession with aging as if it's the end of the world.
My beauty perspective has totally flipped. In my 20s, it was all about rocking big hair, bold makeup, and lamenting the fact that I couldn't shop at 5-7-9 stores (remember those?). But today, it's a whole different story.
My idea of beauty is about having some wisdom in my back pocket while confidently switching between a bold cat-eye and tunic one day (h/t to TueNighter
), to rocking a pair of cargo jeans and going makeup-free the next. Now, that's what I call hella sexy.
No doubt, I have my down moments, but I'm learning to embrace my body's changes. We've been through a lot together, and she's all I've got. So, hold on to your “Noooos,” because old is the goal, kiddos!
I've been wondering – How do you define beauty in your life now, and how has that definition changed over the years?
I do vacillate wildly between ugh, I look so old these days and you’re not so bad for an “old” gal! And then I look at Madonna’s IG and with all the work and fillers and whatnot she’s done to her face, I ask myself why does she still need such heavy filters then? But, I’m trying to avoid the self criticism and embrace the fact that I’m still kicking at 57, a privilege denied to many.
Beauty now for me is a clean face, low to no make-up, but I still rock a hundred different earrings and lipstick. Beauty is as heathy as I can be, and when I can’t, I’ll rock that, too. Beauty is creating: words, thoughts, smiles, good smells in the kitchen. Beauty now is awe, at a sunrise, an old tree, a storm. Beauty is love, for this old girl and others. Beauty is gratitude for another day waking. Beauty is breathing.
I don't feel 'done' without mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss. I may be unshowered and running errands in leggings and a t shirt, but my eyes look wide awake, lol. I pretty much gave up lipstick for glosses and stains pre Covid (and of course, only wore lip balm while masking). Gloss is easier, breezier, juicier. I'm also someone with very oily and breakout prone skin, still, at 58, so I'm about skin care and occasionally using the same face wash as my 20 year old son!
Beauty to me is the cheap thrill of K Beauty and giving up the prestige skin care lines in the department store. It's bypassing Botox... for now. It's messier, frizzier hair because I can't be bothered to blow dry it (gave it up during lockdown). It's always getting a pedicure, even in the winter, but only occasionally getting a manicure. It's more casual.
Love it! We have an H-Mart within a 30 min drive that has an entire section of K Beauty brands and products that my girls and I hit up every couple of months. Which reminds me, I'm so bad about expired makeup. I have a couple of lip glosses and lipsticks that have got to be at least years old.
To be frank, I don’t ‘believe’ in expiration dates on cosmetics. If it’s separated or smells, or the texture has changed, out it goes. Skin care with active ingredients might lose their power. But powders last forever, and when you sharpen pencils fresh product is exposed. I’ve found old lip glosses in handbags that are still fine! Safety first, but so far so good!
Thinking about this so much after watching The Super Models yesterday. Physical beauty is compelling but power is bigger than that. Elders gain more than they lose I think. That being said, I’d still like to see less droop around the jowls. Which hilariously autocorrected to “bowels” and I don’t want those to droop either! I guess aging is finding the humor and beauty in inevitable indignities.
I started in fashion in Manhattan in the 70's. The models were all about extreme hair and makeup and that is what I thought beauty was. Now the models I work with are real women. Natural hair and makeup. A few months ago, I discovered Natalie in Best Buy. I only saw her from the back with her salt and pepper dreads cascading all around her.
Yada, yada, yada....she came to our studio for a photo shoot and was a natural in front of the camera. The confidence of age. Knowing who she was. Natalie is an art director for Yes! Magazine with a lifelong dream to be in a commercial. We are working together to make her dream a reality. It’s never too late. This is how I define beauty today. Photo link to Natalie. file:///Users/robin/Desktop/INSTAGRAM%20GETTY/23-06-12_Natalie-0523.jpg
What an amazing story, Robin! The link isn't working (so wish we could share photos here on Substack!) it's NEVER too late and please let us know when that happens.
I see myself on Zoom and wish I knew how to do something with my eyes, at least. I never got in the habit of using makeup at all, so when/if I do, I'm not used to it and I feel like a freak! I'm about to assistant-teach a writing class to women for whom I'd like to look halfway professional, so I need to figure something out. Maybe ... light foundation, eyebrows, and mascara? What's the least I can do to look like I didn't just roll out of bed? I'm 59 and never learned a lot of the feminine style skills.
I can't recommend the products of Jones Road Beauty enough (Bobby Brown's new clean, natural look make-up line). They're like your natural face. only better. Her Miracle Balm IS a miracle! It makes skin quietly luminous--I just pat a bit on my bare face, and so many people say "wow...you look great!" Pacifica Alight BB (beauty balm) makes the face glow, too! Just apply like a moisturizer… Easy!
As I close in on 50 I own the power of my face a lot more than I used to. My features are quite large, and I now realize that their smallest ripple makes a big impact, so I've learned to utilize that strategically. When I'm looking to persuade someone who is on the fence about something, my "enthusiasm face" can usually get them over the line. When I'm upset about something I have to be careful not to glower, unless its called for, or it will affect the entire room. When I'm happy to see someone my arsenal of dimples (somehow there are more every year!) make them feel seen and loved. Other than that it's just mascara, brows, lip balm, suncreen and retinol. Oh, and my "miracle product" that I've been using for almost 20 years is the green Garnier eye-roller you can get at the drug store. That thing depuffs my eyes better than anything else on earth.
I can't say that I'm a fan of the slight jowling that's beginning to occur. And, if I had the money, I would get my eyelids circumcized. There are Nora Ephron moments of feeling bad about my neck. But that's more about me not recognizing me than, "Oh, gawd! What will the world think?!" There's a rub as in how my appearance is changing and how I feel (like I'm in my 30s, LOL). But I quit foundation years ago (is there one that doesn't suck?), slap on a cream blush and mascara for work or dinners. I've gone French-woman easy with my hair (I blowdry my bangs and that's it; the rest is up to whatever mood my wave/curl is in). And, lordy, I miss those 5-7-9 stores! Why can't we have anything good? xo
Ilia Super Serum Skin Tint has SPF 40 and is quite non-sucky! I also like Laura Geller baked balance & brighten foundation. It’s a powder but doesn’t look or feel like it. I’m 55 with super dry skin and most days I use a little of each.
Thanks so much, Lauralei! I saw the Ilia mentioned on Paulina's Insta the other day. I have such trouble matching my pretty normal, neutral skin (you'd think that wouldn't be hard, but even when I had someone as Sephora help, I ended up covered in WTF). I'm 54 with semi-normal/slightly shiny skin so I wear Supergoop Superscreen, which is moisturizing, a little powder on my forehead and bridge of my nose to calm that down. But I'll definitely look into the Ilia and maybe the Geller. Thanks so much for the recs! xo
My idea of beauty is more innate these days. I love feeling wise... remembering that I know so much more than I've ever known before. Externally, feeling attractive shifts between a wild mane of curly air-dried hair and a long, comfy sweater dress or a Grace Kelly old-school dress. I think I'd rather see strength and compassion normalized as true beauty... that's seems to be what matters :)
I do vacillate wildly between ugh, I look so old these days and you’re not so bad for an “old” gal! And then I look at Madonna’s IG and with all the work and fillers and whatnot she’s done to her face, I ask myself why does she still need such heavy filters then? But, I’m trying to avoid the self criticism and embrace the fact that I’m still kicking at 57, a privilege denied to many.
"Not so bad for an old gal" would make a great addition to my coffee mug collection.😁
I should make keychains with this sentiment! 🤣
Beauty now for me is a clean face, low to no make-up, but I still rock a hundred different earrings and lipstick. Beauty is as heathy as I can be, and when I can’t, I’ll rock that, too. Beauty is creating: words, thoughts, smiles, good smells in the kitchen. Beauty now is awe, at a sunrise, an old tree, a storm. Beauty is love, for this old girl and others. Beauty is gratitude for another day waking. Beauty is breathing.
I love this... SO MUCH... thank you, Phyllis!
I don't feel 'done' without mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss. I may be unshowered and running errands in leggings and a t shirt, but my eyes look wide awake, lol. I pretty much gave up lipstick for glosses and stains pre Covid (and of course, only wore lip balm while masking). Gloss is easier, breezier, juicier. I'm also someone with very oily and breakout prone skin, still, at 58, so I'm about skin care and occasionally using the same face wash as my 20 year old son!
Beauty to me is the cheap thrill of K Beauty and giving up the prestige skin care lines in the department store. It's bypassing Botox... for now. It's messier, frizzier hair because I can't be bothered to blow dry it (gave it up during lockdown). It's always getting a pedicure, even in the winter, but only occasionally getting a manicure. It's more casual.
Love it! We have an H-Mart within a 30 min drive that has an entire section of K Beauty brands and products that my girls and I hit up every couple of months. Which reminds me, I'm so bad about expired makeup. I have a couple of lip glosses and lipsticks that have got to be at least years old.
To be frank, I don’t ‘believe’ in expiration dates on cosmetics. If it’s separated or smells, or the texture has changed, out it goes. Skin care with active ingredients might lose their power. But powders last forever, and when you sharpen pencils fresh product is exposed. I’ve found old lip glosses in handbags that are still fine! Safety first, but so far so good!
Thinking about this so much after watching The Super Models yesterday. Physical beauty is compelling but power is bigger than that. Elders gain more than they lose I think. That being said, I’d still like to see less droop around the jowls. Which hilariously autocorrected to “bowels” and I don’t want those to droop either! I guess aging is finding the humor and beauty in inevitable indignities.
Right?! You are so spot on. LOL! And don't even get me started on my droopy bowels... thank you for the giggle, Julie!
I started in fashion in Manhattan in the 70's. The models were all about extreme hair and makeup and that is what I thought beauty was. Now the models I work with are real women. Natural hair and makeup. A few months ago, I discovered Natalie in Best Buy. I only saw her from the back with her salt and pepper dreads cascading all around her.
Yada, yada, yada....she came to our studio for a photo shoot and was a natural in front of the camera. The confidence of age. Knowing who she was. Natalie is an art director for Yes! Magazine with a lifelong dream to be in a commercial. We are working together to make her dream a reality. It’s never too late. This is how I define beauty today. Photo link to Natalie. file:///Users/robin/Desktop/INSTAGRAM%20GETTY/23-06-12_Natalie-0523.jpg
What an amazing story, Robin! The link isn't working (so wish we could share photos here on Substack!) it's NEVER too late and please let us know when that happens.
You can see the mighty Natalie on my IG @modernagercasting
I see myself on Zoom and wish I knew how to do something with my eyes, at least. I never got in the habit of using makeup at all, so when/if I do, I'm not used to it and I feel like a freak! I'm about to assistant-teach a writing class to women for whom I'd like to look halfway professional, so I need to figure something out. Maybe ... light foundation, eyebrows, and mascara? What's the least I can do to look like I didn't just roll out of bed? I'm 59 and never learned a lot of the feminine style skills.
I can't recommend the products of Jones Road Beauty enough (Bobby Brown's new clean, natural look make-up line). They're like your natural face. only better. Her Miracle Balm IS a miracle! It makes skin quietly luminous--I just pat a bit on my bare face, and so many people say "wow...you look great!" Pacifica Alight BB (beauty balm) makes the face glow, too! Just apply like a moisturizer… Easy!
As I close in on 50 I own the power of my face a lot more than I used to. My features are quite large, and I now realize that their smallest ripple makes a big impact, so I've learned to utilize that strategically. When I'm looking to persuade someone who is on the fence about something, my "enthusiasm face" can usually get them over the line. When I'm upset about something I have to be careful not to glower, unless its called for, or it will affect the entire room. When I'm happy to see someone my arsenal of dimples (somehow there are more every year!) make them feel seen and loved. Other than that it's just mascara, brows, lip balm, suncreen and retinol. Oh, and my "miracle product" that I've been using for almost 20 years is the green Garnier eye-roller you can get at the drug store. That thing depuffs my eyes better than anything else on earth.
I can't say that I'm a fan of the slight jowling that's beginning to occur. And, if I had the money, I would get my eyelids circumcized. There are Nora Ephron moments of feeling bad about my neck. But that's more about me not recognizing me than, "Oh, gawd! What will the world think?!" There's a rub as in how my appearance is changing and how I feel (like I'm in my 30s, LOL). But I quit foundation years ago (is there one that doesn't suck?), slap on a cream blush and mascara for work or dinners. I've gone French-woman easy with my hair (I blowdry my bangs and that's it; the rest is up to whatever mood my wave/curl is in). And, lordy, I miss those 5-7-9 stores! Why can't we have anything good? xo
Ilia Super Serum Skin Tint has SPF 40 and is quite non-sucky! I also like Laura Geller baked balance & brighten foundation. It’s a powder but doesn’t look or feel like it. I’m 55 with super dry skin and most days I use a little of each.
Thanks so much, Lauralei! I saw the Ilia mentioned on Paulina's Insta the other day. I have such trouble matching my pretty normal, neutral skin (you'd think that wouldn't be hard, but even when I had someone as Sephora help, I ended up covered in WTF). I'm 54 with semi-normal/slightly shiny skin so I wear Supergoop Superscreen, which is moisturizing, a little powder on my forehead and bridge of my nose to calm that down. But I'll definitely look into the Ilia and maybe the Geller. Thanks so much for the recs! xo
My idea of beauty is more innate these days. I love feeling wise... remembering that I know so much more than I've ever known before. Externally, feeling attractive shifts between a wild mane of curly air-dried hair and a long, comfy sweater dress or a Grace Kelly old-school dress. I think I'd rather see strength and compassion normalized as true beauty... that's seems to be what matters :)
Yes! All of this, Alisa!!❤️